Beautiful Disaster
by Moonchild10
Summary: Devi gets set up on yet another blind date. Get ready for some interesting happenings.Rated for cursing.
1. o n e

Disclaimey: If I owned JTHM or any characters, I could just write comics on it instead of fan fiction. (sewer monkeys!!!) My portrayal of Nny in my stories is different from most people's. Some people portray him as this cold, mean person. But even though he's a homicidal maniac, that doesn't mean he doesn't have a good side. I try to bring that side of Nny out in my stories. Don't flame please. I'm just trying to have fun with this story.  
  
*/*/* Chapter One:  
  
"No," Devi mumbled.  
  
"Oh come on. Please!? It's just ONE little blind date!" Tenna said.  
  
"No! Last time I let you set me up I ended up bearing witness to a case of diarrhea," Devi said, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall in her apartment.  
  
"Devi, he's a nice guy! C'mon!" Tenna said. Devi groaned.  
  
"OK fine! But this is absolutely the last time!!" Devi said finally. Tenna grinned. She loved when Devi took her advice, which didn't happen very often. She squeaked her rubber skeleton doll, Spooky. Devi shuddered. She hated Spooky. She glared at him.  
  
"Do you even know the guy?" Devi asked.  
  
"No. But he's probably very nice," Tenna said. Devi rolled her eyes at her.  
  
"OK fine. I'll go on a blind date with some guy even YOU don't know tomorrow night even though he's probably an axe murderer or a sex addict, and put my life in jeopardy," Devi mumbled.  
  
"See, I knew you'd give in. Meet him at the only bench in the park at seven, kay?" Tenna said.  
  
*/*/* The next evening, Devi walked slowly through the park toward the benchy area. There had once been many benches, but now there was only one, since not many people ever went to the park anymore. As she approached the bench, she saw a form sitting on it.  
  
"Hey, are you-" Devi began. The person looked up, and Devi jumped back. "Fuck Johnny get the hell away from me! If you come near me, I'll kill you! I swear! Oh shit keep away! Get away from me!" Devi screamed at him.  
  
"Calm down Devi. Don't flatter yourself. I'm not stalking you or anything. I'm waiting for somebody," Johnny said, looking away.  
  
"Oh. Er, sorry about that," Devi muttered, embarrassed.  
  
"So, what are you doing here?" Johnny asked.  
  
"Blind date," Devi said guardedly. Her shifty eyes were fixed on him, warily and unyielding. Her gaze was distrustful.  
  
"So am I," Nny muttered.  
  
"So, who set you up?" Devi asked.  
  
"Some girl," Nny mumbled.  
  
"Wait a second, did she have a squeaky rubber skeleton?" Devi asked.  
  
"Yes," Nny said.  
  
"Ohhhhh no," Devi said. Nny looked at her funny. "Hold on a sec," Devi said. She yanked her cell out of her pocket and punched in Tenna's number.  
  
"Hello?" Tenna answered.  
  
"Tenna, do you know who exactly the guy is?"  
  
"no-"  
  
"It's Johnny! You set me up on a date with Johnny! I can't believe you!" Devi said.  
  
"So..I just thought he might like another chance with you."  
  
"Another chance!? He tried to kill me, and you didn't even stop to think about my life when you set me up with him!?"  
  
"C'mon Dev. Remember what my mom always said! Anyone who deserves a second thought deserves a second chance!"  
  
"Tenna, that is so totally stupid," Devi said.  
  
"Well sorry!" Tenna mumbled.  
  
"Humph," Devi muttered.  
  
"So, are ya gonna try it?" Tenna asked.  
  
"Oh fine!" Devi moaned. She hung up the phone.  
  
Nny was staring at her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Devi, you know I'd never, ever hurt you again, right?"  
  
"So you're saying you want me to try going out with you again?"  
  
"If I try anything again, you can leave. I know you think I'm just a homicidal maniac. But I can change your mind about me, honest."  
  
"OK Nny, I'll make a deal with you. I'll go out with you tonight and tomorrow night. And if you can't change my mind about you, you have to leave me alone from now on. That means no more stalking, no more calling, no more nothing."  
  
" And if I DO change your mind?"  
  
"We'll just see what happens then Nny."  
  
"OK. It's a deal," Nny said.  
  
"And if you even TOUCH me, I pull out my pepper spray," Devi warned. Nny winced in remembrance of last week when she'd seen him on the street and sprayed him a facefull. He hadn't even DONE anything.  
  
"OK," Nny said nervously.  
  
"I'm serious. If you try ANY funny stuff, I'll spray you," Devi said, her tone warning.  
  
"OK. Devi, I'm not gonna hurt you," Nny said, holding up his hands in justification.  
  
"Uh-huh. Sure. And why should I believe you?" Devi asked.  
  
"OH. I guess you really have no reason to trust me. But I promise I won't harm you in any way. I never would, and you can trust me on that on that ."  
  
"No I can't. I can't trust you. You tried to kill me and I never did one single thing to you. You know I have a right to not trust you," Devi said. She was only going through with this because the prospect of having Nny stop stalking her (which she was positive he was doing) sounded excellent at this point. She knew he wouldn't be able to make it without trying to hurt her somehow.  
  
"OK, don't trust me then. But I'm not going to hurt you. And if I try anything, you can kill ME. What do you say?" Nny asked.  
  
Devi looked at him skeptically for a moment.  
  
"Alright," she said, "sounds good. I get to kill you if you try anything."  
  
"Right. Now, maybe we should get going," Nny said, glancing at his wrist before realizing that there was no watch there.  
  
"Where are we going?" Devi asked, crossing her arms.  
  
Nny thought for a moment.  
  
"How about a movie? That way you don't have to talk to me," he said.  
  
"Fair enough," Devi said. Nny stood up and started walking, so Devi followed close behind, watching him warily. She wouldn't let herself take her eyes off of him for a second.  
  
They were able to make it out of the park before Devi even said anything. She was too busy thinking paranoid thoughts. As they walked, there was a rather uneasy hush.  
  
'What if he has a knife? What it he decides to slit my throat? At least I know he's not a rapist. But what if he has a gun? Oh shit! I'm gonna die! I never should have decided to do this! And what if he DOES change my mind? That would be really creepy. He hasn't tried anything yet. Maybe I will change my mind about him, but I'd never be able to admit it, because he's going to crack and kill me eventually. Oh shit, I bet he has a knife! I just know it! He's going to kill me,' Devi thought.  
  
"So, what have you been up to?' Nny asked, trying to start up some sort of a conversation.  
  
"Sitting in my apartment, hiding from you," Devi said.  
  
"Oh. Heh," Nny said.  
  
"So what have YOU been up to?" Devi asked, crossing her arms again.  
  
"Erm, not sleeping," Nny said.  
  
"Oh."  
  
There was another pause.  
  
A few minutes later they reached the movie theater. They decided on seeing some movie I haven't heard of. After they sat down, and even into the advertisements, Devi was still paranoid. She kept glancing suspiciously at Nny. After the third advertisement, he finally said something.  
  
"Devi, why do you keep looking at me like that? I feel like a criminal that's being judged in court."  
  
"Oh. I guess I'm just being obsessed. I'm just kind of paranoid, what with what happened last time and all."  
  
"Right."  
  
A while into the movie, things started getting boring. Devi glanced at Nny. She picked up a piece of popcorn and threw it at Johnny's head. It bounced off his temple. He looked at her.  
  
"What?' she asked. He shrugged and turned back to the movie. She threw another piece at him.  
  
"Devi!"  
  
"What?"  
  
Nny grabbed a handful of popcorn and lobbed it at her face.  
  
"You!" she said, and threw and handful at him, at which point he chortled and dumped the entire tub of popcorn onto her head. They both exploded into laughter. One of the movie theater people shined his flashlight on them.  
  
"Excuse me, but if you're going to continue this behavior, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," the dude said.  
  
"Oh well, this movie sucks anyway," Devi said. Johnny picked up a piece of popcorn off of the floor and placed it on the movie theater guy's head. Then they left. Once outside, they started laughing again. Devi leaned against the wall for support, clutching her side. Finally, gasping for breath, she controlled herself. 


	2. t w o

"Sorry. But..oh shit that was fun," she said, breathing returning to normal.  
  
"Yeah. Ooh look, Eat Or Die. Come on, let's get something to eat," Nny said.  
  
"Are you sure you-"  
  
"Sure," Nny said.  
  
Inside the restaurant , they found a table and sat down.  
  
"So, wadaya want?" Nny asked.  
  
"I don't care. I pretty much like all Chinese food."  
  
"Come on, the sky's the limit. OK, well, anything under $20.00. That's all I've got."  
  
"You know, I can get it."  
  
"No, I got it. Seriously Devi, I've got money you know."  
  
"I know. I just-"  
  
"Feel uncomfortable around me?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Oh. Well, I think I'm getting some noodles. I don't eat much normally."  
  
"Right. Well, I'll just have the same thing then."  
  
"OK."  
  
(insert awkward coughing and sound of ordering)  
  
"You know Devi," Nny said while they were waiting for the food. "You weren't acting too paranoid in the movie theater."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, you were acting.almost normal around me."  
  
"Are you saying I'm not normal usually?" Devi asked, standing up a little.  
  
"Whoa, calm down. That's not what I meant at all. It's just that..you were acting like I was just a normal guy, that's all. I mean, considering the circumstances."  
  
"Oh."  
  
(insert sound of food showing up)  
  
There was a long silence as the eating began. Suddenly Nny laughed.  
  
"What's so funny?" Devi asked.  
  
"Oh nothing. It's just that..these noodles remind me of something me and one of my cousins used to do when I was very young."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing. Nothing," Nny said, going a bit red in the face.  
  
"Oh come on."  
  
"Fine. But you'll get extremely disgusted."  
  
"Trust me, I've seen way worse I bet."  
  
"Fine. You take the longest noodle you can find. Then you and the other person make sure that the two noodles are exactly the same length. And then you hold onto one end and stick the other end in your mouth. Then still holding onto it, you swallow as much of the noodle you can, and then measure how much is still sticking out of your mouth. The person with the least sticking out wins," Nny said sheepishly. Devi laughed at him.  
  
"See, told you I'd seen worse. Oh come on, let's try it."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Of course I'm sure."  
  
Devi won.  
  
"Well, that was fun."  
  
"So, you weren't revolted?"  
  
"Really Nny, I've seen much more revolting than that. I remember, when I was four, my sister used to do that sort of thing with worms," Devi said.  
  
"Disgusting. Well, you seem to be feeling a lot less nervous now."  
  
"Maybe I am."  
  
"Well, I'm finished. What about you?"  
  
"Yes. Now what?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
"Does it involve sharp objects in any way?"  
  
"No. Of course not."  
  
(they left)  
  
"OK, we just need to find a fire escape," Nny said.  
  
"A fire escape," Devi said, crossing her arms and staring at him in a very bemused way.  
  
"Yes, a fire escape," Nny said, as if a fire escape was a perfectly natural thing to look for. He scouted around a bit, and then he spotted one. "Here we go," Nny said, walking toward it. Devi followed, confused. Nny grabbed the ladder and climbed up. "Come on, follow me," Nny said. Devi wondered what the hell a fire escape had to do with anything.  
  
Upon reaching the top, Nny held out his hand to help Devi up, but then remembered what she'd said about touching her, and recoiled his hand.  
  
"OK, what are we going to do up here?" Devi asked. Nny pulled off his backpack and unzipped it. He pulled out several water balloons.  
  
"I know it's immature. But I was thinking of throwing them at cars," Nny said, blushing.  
  
"That's against the law," Devi said, amused at Nny's gullibility.  
  
"I know but.it's still fun."  
  
"I suppose so," Devi said awkwardly. She grabbed one of the water balloons and dropped it carelessly off of the edge of the fire escape. There was a sploosh, and a scream. Devi looked over the edge.  
  
"oh fuck, I hit a guy! I didn't actually mean to hit anyone," Devi said, laughing. Nny chuckled nervously.  
  
"Hey look, it's my ex-boyfriend. Do you have any really big balloons?" Devi asked. Nny dug around in his backpack and produced a huge water balloon. "Holy shit, that thing's as big as a watermelon!" Devi said, taking it. She aimed and threw it. It burst on the head of a sleazy looking man on a motorcycle. He veered and slammed into a parked car. Devi doubled over laughing.  
  
"Take that, Dave!" she screamed. The man looked up at them, bewildered, and Devi flipped him off.  
  
"Devi? You bitch!" Dave screeched.  
  
"I may be a bitch, but you can't keep a woman longer than two nights!" Devi yelled at him, enjoying herself. Nny watched the whole thing, surprised. Dave finally pulled away from the car and puttered away on his motorcycle. Devi started to laugh again.  
  
*/*/* An hour later, they reached the outside of Devi apartment building.  
  
"You want me to walk you to your door, or can you take it from here?" Nny asked.  
  
"I'll be fine. I can take it from here," Devi said. She didn't want to run into Tenna inside and get the twenty questions about the date while Nny was still with her.  
  
"OK," Nny said ineptly. Devi smiled at him.  
  
'He was really nice. He didn't try anything at all. I never would have thought he could do it for one whole date. Maybe he'll crack tomorrow night and I can get on with my life. But still, I should say I'm sorry for being so judgmental at first,' Devi thought.  
  
"Nny, I owe you an apology," Devi said.  
  
"Why?" Nny asked.  
  
"I didn't give you a chance at first. And you really surprised me. I never thought you could do it," Devi said.  
  
"Yeah, well-" Nny said, blushing and shuffling his feet.  
  
"Thanks for dinner and..everything else," Devi said.  
  
"No problem."  
  
"Well, see you tomorrow night, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"Thanks for tonight, Johnny. I really..actually had a good time," Devi said.  
  
'Should I? Oh, what could it hurt?' she thought as she leaned in and kissed Nny's cheek before heading inside. He watched her go and waited 'till she was inside to start celebrating. He leaped into the air before walking down the street with a big cheesy grin on his face.  
  
Some circus clown passed him, and Nny grabbed it and shook it by the shoulders.  
  
"She kissed me, Mr. Clown! She KISSED me!" Nny sang before he took off, singing a joyous little song. 


End file.
